Boundaries: Level Up Leadership Tips – 065

Leaders are learners. Leaders not only seek to learn from everyone and everything around them, they also learn from the unexpected and out of their comfort zone. Leaders learn.

Whether or not you are a person of faith, there are leadership lessons to be learned form the life of Billy Graham. I happened to be in Charlotte this week working with Gardner-Webb University. Billy Graham’s life impact is all around. I got a notice about my flight earlier today – be aware of delays, closed roads, get there earlier than normal because of traffic and long TSA lines (unless you have Pre-Check!). All this because a man died.

Billy Graham had boundaries. There’s a lesson for leaders in the way he lived, most importantly in today’s culture of #metoo and a heightened sensitivity to the ways we treat people. I am appreciative of this new sensitivity and the scrutiny of behavior.

Graham would never be the first one to enter a hotel room while traveling. It was always one of his associates. Why? Because they weren’t willing to take the chance that a photographer was in there with a naked woman ready to get a picture with Billy Graham. His reputation would be ruined.

I recently read that he would not step foot in an elevator if there was only one woman already there. He didn’t want to take the chance. He would wait or take the stairs.

There’s a lesson for us.

I had some rules for my kids around clothes. For my girls, since I understood boys, they were simply: bra straps are not accessory items; no words on your butt Both of those things weren’t going to help boys think good and pure thoughts, something that is difficult enough for a boy when around a beautiful girl.

I can only speak for myself, but I have had boundaries around my leadership for decades because I understood that two things will tae down a life quicker than anything else: money and sex. Both are typically linked to power. We need not look far in today’s news to realize how true this is.

If I’m meeting a woman over coffee, lunch or a rare dinner, my wife has to give the ok. It’s always in a very public place. I never pay for both of us – unless it’s my mom!

If I’m coaching a woman and she is a person of faith, she might ask me to pray for her. I tell her I will but not while we are alone, even in a public place. It’s a line I refuse to cross.

I won’t meet with a woman by myself behind a closed door. If I’m in my office, the door is cracked, there’s always a window in my door or wall, others are in the building, my wife knows and I sit behind my desk.

It might seem excessive to some but I simply don’t want to even give the possible appearance of evil intentions or actions. My character and integrity are too fragile for a social media world.

What are your boundaries? I know there are boundaries for a woman as well. I will leave that for a woman to address. In fact, if someone would care to, let’s collaborate and send it out.

Money boundaries: I try to stay far away from touching any cash, only accepting checks and credit cards. And I try to live simply. I don’t need to look important or successful in someone else’s eyes with clothes or cars. It brings too many things into question for me.

We started with learning leaders. Watch others. Decide whom you want to emulate with boundaries. My “Tip” is, have them. Live in such a way that when you die people will come by the tens of thousands to pay their respects. By the way, it wasn’t because Billy Graham died. It was because of the way he chose to live.

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