The conversations have been consistent with leaders in all industries.
I am an observer of data points. When I see consistencies, repetitions or anomalies, I pay attention. One of my clients, a Senior Vice President of a global communications company, taught me a lot about looking for these “points.” It’s what he does for a living and simply coaching through his work scenarios, I gained insights and furthered my personal study.
Leaders are weary. Some leaders are weary because business is skyrocketing, busier than ever: grocery industry, video communications, financial advisors, cleaning companies, to name a few.
Other leaders are weary because so much has changed. One client, an engineer, changed jobs last month because as frustrating as the lack of people skills at his previous company were, going into the office and interacting with other people was what kept him there. Working from home took the positive part of the job away. So he got a raise and flexibility to Work from Anywhere.
Working from home is exposing (sorry for the choice of words) some habits that are inappropriate in public, i.e. Toobin. I’m watching other people do stupid things and it’s more from weariness and mental exhaustion than anything else. And, yes, some people just lack self-awareness and that’s being exposed as well.
We’re on hyper-alert like a hurricane is approaching, but unlike the hurricane which comes, goes, leaves a mess, and we pick up and clean up, this hurricane has stalled over us. We’re not designed for this level of vigilance without a break. We aren’t certain when it will end.
Athletes call me with questions:
- “I’m a senior and we aren’t even sure we’ll have a championships. Is it worth continuing?”
- “I’m so unmotivated right now. I train because of the people I get to interact with and now I have to stay away from them even while training. What can I do?”
- “A teammate tested positive for Covid. Now practice is cancelled for 2 weeks. Can you help me work through this?” (Just like working through an injury….but different.)
Business leaders call me with questions:
- “We’ve survived this year decently. But Q1 and Q2 look awful. Can you help me think through this?”
- “I’m so close to retirement but not there yet. I’m not sure what to do. Are you up for a conversation.” (This is one reason I recently added a Master Financial Coach certification, to walk alongside people.)
- “Juggling work from home, homeschooling kids, and completely interrupting my husband’s schedule as he does mine. I’ve always worked from home and now he is too. Can you walk us through this?” (Having been a Pastor for 30 years, I get relationships and marriage really well.)
This is a sampling of what I’m getting. Where do you see yourself? It’s all of us at one level or another.
What do we do?
A big answer, I believe, comes from the world of addiction recovery. I find it helpful. Others are finding it helpful. You will find it helpful. These are the kinds of things I’m sharing with clients because we are all human beings in the same world.
H.A.L.T. – is about understanding your triggers that lead to depression (not all depression), mental and emotional exhaustion, fits of anger, lack of productivity, and more.
HUNGRY – when we are hungry we are not thinking as clearly. Being aware of what we are eating when we are working from home so much more than before can be a challenge. It’s too easy to nibble and snack throughout the whole day. Being aware that coffee and carbonated drinks (not to mention the sugar in most) dehydrate us, is crucial to thinking clearly on consistent video calls. And watch the alcohol.
Pay attention to what your body needs. Feed your body what it needs rather than what it wants. Make sure you don’t go into a meeting hungry. When we are hungry we can tend to do stupid things more than at other times
ANGRY – when we are angry we do stupid things because we are thinking emotionally not rationally. Pay attention to when you get angry – what time to day? with whom? in what situations? is it when you are hungry? Do you get angry when someone else is angry with you? What are your triggers?
Angry people are not good leaders or decision makers. And always remember that someone else’s anger is never about you. It’s always about them. So is yours!
LONELY – people who are lonely do more stupid things than people who feel connected. In pandemic lockdowns and stay at home orders, this is a tough one. Video chats can only do so much.
The importance of connecting with people physically face to face – even mask to mask – cannot be overstated. We are relational beings, created for relationships not isolation. I certainly can’t tell anyone exactly how to do this, but it’s so important to find a way.
I have found that walking around my neighborhood is helpful. Regardless of engaging in long conversations or not, I see different things, different areas, and people. Even in the cold it’s possible for me. It may not be possible for you. What else can you do?
TIRED – sleep is the #1 thing from which all of us would benefit if we got more of it. Seven to eight hours a night is where our brains and bodies function at their optimal level. Athletes have less injuries at this level of sleep. My friend Dr. Richard Swinbourne, Ph.D. has taught me so much about the importance of sleep. It was the topic of his dissertation.
Turn off the phones and screens 30 minutes before bedtime. Go to bed at a similar time each night. Create a pattern for yourself. When you are tired you are more prone to do stupid things.
These four things are interactive. They feed off of each other. Change one and others will automatically change. For instance, get more sleep and because you are thinking more clearly you will be less angry; you will make better choices about what you eat.
I sum it up this way: you are the only you you get in this life. Take care of yourself. You are worth it.
Do what you need to do for you, without apology. Your career may depend on it. Your mental and emotional health, that impacts your whole life, definitely depends on it.
Take 1-Minute to watch this Question for Today video that can help you lead yourself through this time in our lives.
Jeffery A. Raker
Level Up Leadership Coaching
Jeff@levelupleadershipcoach.com – contact me to find out what Leadership Coaching, Financial Coaching, or Relationship Coaching can do for you right now