At a recent national swim meet in North Carolina, a group of officials was talking during a break. Someone asked if I had any “word of inspiration.” Never one for a lack of words, here’s what I shared:
In swim officiating, our mantra is “the swimmer always gets the benefit of the doubt.” During this Christmas season where we hear more about generosity, what if we were generous with those in our lives, as well as with ourselves, and gave the “benefit of the doubt?”
I remember many times when my wife woudl be later getting home than she said she would be. Not only would I have her 6 feet under, I would also have negative thoughts: “She’s deliberately not calling me. How inconsiderate.”
However, if I was generous toward her, I would be more positive with thoughts of, “I hope she’s ok.” And when she arrives home, it’s not a barrage of “how upset and worried I was,” but of “it’s good to see you.” Because it is.
The benefit of the doubt saves us worry and anxiety, lessening stress and helping us live in deeper joy.
How can you give the benefit of the doubt to your employees? To you boss? Then what about to yourself?
The swim officials gathered around that day, when I mentioned applying this to yourself, nearly sucked the oxygen out of the natatorium! “We are so hard on ourselves,” they said.
Here’s one way to apply this personally. Don’t judge your throughts. They are just thoughts.
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“I know I need to do this but I just don’t feel like it.”
Ok. That’s the way you feel. That’s the thoughts you have. It’s real. It’s there. Don’t judge it but rather move on from it. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt during this season when generosity is such a big theme. It’s the best present you may ever receive. Lead yourself before you try to lead others.