Is your leadership being undermined by a volcanic threat?
My heart breaks for the people whose lives are being upended, swallowed and burned up by the newest eruptions of Kilauea on the Big Island of Hawaii. I have no idea what they are feeling but can only imagine the gut punch.
For the past year, ok 2 year, ok really it’s been a lifetime, I’ve observed leadership being undermined by the leader themselves. Today it occurred to me that there is great danger lurking beneath the facade of many leaders that threats to swallow them whole and destroy those they lead in the process. Leadership is a high calling, which is why I believe the #1 thing for a leader to cultivate is their character.
The #metoo movement has exposed a dangerous river of uncontrolled lust and power running beneath the lives of many. Too many. I’m glad to see the push for greater accountability and higher moral standards. Mostly, I’m overjoyed to see more people getting on board with respect for women. I hope it grows to greater respect for people in general.
What lies beneath us may be more of a determining factor of our leadership success than our IQ, EQ, or charisma. What looks safe and secure, can quickly be undermined by that which we have refused to deal with, we have ignored, or pushed aside or lack of awareness, often because we eschew feedback.
Most recently the former NY AG, Eric Schneiderman, resigned over assault allegations. A rising political star in his party, brought down by an eruption of that which had been circling beneath him. The list is long. It’s too long. It’s not the list on which you want to find your name. Think you stand firm? Beware. What is underneath?
My wife and I were in Hawaii last year for our 30th anniversary. It’s beautiful! I know several people who are residents of the islands. I am jealous of their pictures and posts, especially when I look outside my office window at the gray, cold and snowy Ohio winters. In Hawaii the weather is pretty boring if you ask me. Mostly always it’s the same. At least Ohio has the advantage of giving us variety, often in just minutes. Is that an advantage? But I digress.
I see the draw of owning a house in the Hawaiian Islands. It’s truly stunning. Then there is the volcano. Multiple volcanoes, not to mention one of the world’s most active called Kilauea. The evidence of its destructive power lies all around. Lava fields which cover once lush fields and entire subdivisions. The 1990 eruption is a signpost for all to see. So why build a home nearby or on the side of a volcano?
How do you know what’s underneath, threatening your home? What about that which threatens your leadership and your life? Honestly, most people know at least some of the issues in their own lives. A better question might be: How do you discover what you don’t know is there?
I remember saying to myself earlier in life: “If I can’t figure this out in my own life, I can at least help other people figure it out.” If you are unable to look back at your life and be aghast at how stupid you were, you have to question your leadership capabilities. Leaders are learners. You can only lead as far as you’ve gone yourself, so it’s imperative to do the work in order to be able to share the journey.
Leadership who choose to ignore their issues deserve what they have coming. It’s simple – You deserve what you allow.
There are things that can be done. As a Leadership Coach, I help people discover those things that threaten their leadership. I celebrate and strengthen strengths, uncover weaknesses and help people change behaviors that threaten the foundation of their leadership.
The molten magma that can undermine leadership tends to have three things in common across all levels, industries, genders and cultures. There is also the matter of the ground that hides or covers the threat. Let’s start there.
Lack of self-awareness is the covering that does not allow a leader to see what is dangerous below. There is an abundance of literature about growing your self-awareness and I would encourage you to search it out and learn. Self-awareness is simply the moment to moment insight one has about their feelings, how you come across to others and how others perceive you. There’s more to it but these are important pillars.
For my purpose here, I will simply mention three things that lead to this lack of awareness in most people’s lives.
First, lack of reflection. Leaders who don’t take time to reflect on their lives and leadership decisions are not going to be self-aware. Second, defensiveness. Leaders who can’t listen to, ask questions about, and apply learnings from feedback are going to grow blindspots rather than awareness. Self-aware leaders actually seek out feedback. Third, hubris – arrogance – pride. This may cover the other two but it has its own tentacles with far reaching effects.
Underneath this lack of awareness lurks the leadership magma that will destroy a leader. I have found that it comes in three ways. Like a fire smoldering in the attic or walls, these tendencies or traits will burst forth without warning. As Kilauea reminds us, it will bubble up in unexpected places too.
#1 – HABITS
Aristotle said: “We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts…we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
If he’s right about excellence, and I believe he is, then it’s also true about imperfection. Leadership habits can help or hurt. Habitual magma includes things like: not prioritizing relationships; anger; lack of communication either by using too many words or not enough of them. The things we repeatedly do in the negative will eventually open fissures underneath relationships, companies, and the foundations of a business.
The most frequent bad leadership habit I see? Body Language that communicates lack of interest in others.
Be aware.
#2 – BELIEFS
The way a leader reacts to the circumstances and events of life is related less to the event and more to their beliefs about the event. If I believe, for instance, that people are lazy and incompetent, then when a project fails, I’m going to target those lazy and incompetent people. However, if I believe that people want to do excellent work, then when a project fails, I’m going to look at other possible issues to explain the failure.
Beliefs are the filter through which we interpret the events of our lives. What do you believe about people? About yourself? What are your beliefs about work? Success?
Successful people spend the time to understand these beliefs in their lives.
#3 – GRUDGES
Lack of forgiveness is, for me, the biggest cause of heat in the bubbling cauldron underneath a leader’s life. Holding grudges is distracting and debilitating. It gives all the power to those with whom you are angry. Leaders who hold grudges live in the past and make decisions based on what has happened versus what needs to happen.
Forgiveness is a 1-way street, not requiring the other person to deserve it or even receive it. Reconciliation is a 2-way street and it’s also what does not need to happen for success. It’s unfortunate, but unfortunately people don’t always figure out how to get along.
Successful people forgive quickly. They move on and do not feel responsible for the feelings and decisions of others.
What’s bubbling beneath your leadership? Be aware. Be careful. Take care of it before it explodes.